Mourning for a wife in Islam has rules that must be followed. These rules are very important to pay attention to. Well, the following is a review that will discuss the various things a wife must do during the iddah period. This can also be done as a way to overcome feelings of sadness after being left by a beloved one.
Understanding the Iddah Period
The iddah period is the waiting period for a woman after her husband's passing, whether due to death or divorce. This waiting period is obligatory.
Here is an explanation of the iddah period from various sources:
A. In Surah Al-Baqarah
Surah Al-Baqarah verse 234 explains that:
“Those of you who die and leave wives behind, (the wives) shall wait by restraining themselves for iddah. The iddah period is 4 months and 10 days.
When the end of the iddah period has come, there is no blame on you for what they do with themselves in an acceptable manner. Allah is aware of what you do.”
B. 'Perempuan' - Quraish Shihab
According to Quraish Shihab, in his book titled 'Perempuan,' one meaning of this iddah period is the period of mourning over the passing of her husband. Quraish Shihab also
explains that the length of the waiting period can differ depending on how the husband left his wife.
“Therefore, during this period a wife should not adorn herself as if celebrating her husband's departure or as if hoping for a new husband," writes Quraish Shihab in the chapter Bias Cendekiawan Kontemporer.
Furthermore, Quraish Shihab also continues that during the iddah period a wife also must not leave the house, except in urgent circumstances. This is also clearly found in the hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim from Umm Salamah RA.
The narration explains that a woman came to the Messenger of Allah SAW and asked, "May her daughter, whose husband has just died and who is in mourning, apply kohl to her eyes?”.
C. HR Bukhari and Muslim on the Iddah Period
Then the Prophet SAW answered, "No, no, no. It is only four months and ten days. Did you not, in the days of jahiliyyah, throw animal dung after a year had passed?" (HR Bukhari and Muslim).
The meaning of throwing animal dung refers to the custom of the people of jahiliyyah to mark the end of the iddah period. It was also a form of frustration at how long the waiting period was.
You should know that there are some people who strictly forbid a woman in the iddah period from bathing with scented soap. Yet, they forbid her from speaking, especially with members of the opposite sex.
Meanwhile, on the other hand, there are also those who greatly relax this iddah period. So that just a few days after the husband's death, the wife is already allowed to leave the house, adorn herself, and even accept the proposal of another man.
Different from Quraish Shihab, who suggests that wives going through this mourning period minimize travelling outside the house, except in urgent circumstances.
This opinion is in fact stated in the word of Allah SWT, which means, "fear Allah as much as you are able." (QS At-Taghabun: 16).
The Messenger of Allah SAW also said, "If I command you to do something, then do it as much as you are able. And what I forbid you, avoid it." (HR Bukhari and Muslim).
Restrictions for Women in the Mourning Period
For those of you who have just been left by a partner forever, there are several things you need to understand, one of which is the restriction of the iddah period when a husband passes away. Here is
a summary:
1. Restrictions on Adorning Oneself During the Iddah Period
A woman in her iddah period after her husband has passed away is advised to refrain from adorning or beautifying herself for a time. In Islam, this practice is known as berIddah.
Besides beautifying herself, a woman is also not permitted to wear eye-catching clothing for the time being, nor to use fragrance on her body.
As mentioned above, the waiting period for a woman whose husband has passed away is 4 months and 10 days. This is the same as for a woman divorced with the first or second talak. Meanwhile, a woman who has received the third talak from her husband will observe the iddah period for three menstrual cycles.
2. Refrain from Wearing Jewelry During the Iddah Period
The iddah period is a time of mourning after the passing of one's husband. One of the etiquettes to observe during this iddah period is to refrain from wearing jewelry for the time being. This is in line with a hadith that reads:
“A woman who has been left by her husband's passing (in mourning) is not permitted to wear eye-catching clothing. In addition, she must not wear jewelry or kohl around her eyes.”
3. Refrain from Leaving the Home During the Iddah Period
For those who have been left by a husband who has passed away, a divorce from mourning takes place automatically. Therefore, a woman still in the iddah period should remain at home and not go out.
However, this is on the condition that there is no urgent need requiring her to leave the house. So, if she goes out for daily household shopping, this is still permitted.
A woman in the mourning period may also go out at night when there is an urgent need. However, she must still spend the night at her own home.
4. Prohibition on Remarrying During the Iddah Period
It is important to understand that this iddah period aims to safeguard the honor and dignity of a woman who is grieving the death of her husband.
Therefore, during the iddah period, a grieving woman may not accept a proposal from another man. If such a proposal is accepted, the marriage is considered invalid. This applies both under religious law and under state law.
Do You Now Understand This Period of Mourning?
That concludes the explanation of the mourning period for a woman who has just been left by her husband's passing. For those who are currently grieving and need someone to handle the funeral arrangements, you may use the services of an event organizer for funerals from Kamboja.
This event organizer provides services for funerals in Jakarta, ranging from funerals in South Jakarta, to funerals in Central Jakarta. Through this service provider, your period of mourning will feel easier, as you will no longer be burdened with arranging the funeral. Kamboja also offers funeral insurance for you and your family.
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The Kamboja team writes guides on bereavement, funeral arrangements and funeral planning to help families in Indonesia.
