The Virtue and Etiquette of Accompanying a Deceased Person to the Grave in Islamic Teaching

Death is certain. It will come to everyone. When someone passes away, those who are still alive have an obligation to honor the rights of the deceased, and accompanying the body is one of them.

In Islam, this falls under fardhu kifayah, a collective obligation for Muslims. When one person has fulfilled it, the obligation is lifted from those around them.

Death is something every living creature on earth experiences, without exception, human beings included. The passing of a person is part of God's (Allah SWT's) decree, the One who created everything and sets all that is destined. As the living, we are obliged to treat the deceased with care and respect.

Below are the virtues and etiquette of accompanying the body all the way to the grave in Islam.

The Virtue of Accompanying the Deceased

When someone passes away, one of the duties Muslims owe to one another is to attend to the body. These include washing it, wrapping it in a shroud (kafan), performing the funeral prayer (salat janazah), and burying it.

For the journey to the final resting place, a special vehicle is also used: the funeral bier (keranda mayat).

It should be noted that the ruling on accompanying the body to the grave is fardhu kifayah, and accompanying the body all the way to the final resting place is a recommended act in Islam. Besides being noble, accompanying the deceased is also believed to be rewarded with great merit. In a hadith narrated by Bukhari, the Messenger of Allah SAW said that visiting the sick and accompanying a funeral to the burial ground will remind a person of the Hereafter.

Although it is rewarded, when accompanying the body to the cemetery, whether by funeral bier or ambulance, there are etiquettes that should be observed.

Etiquette for Accompanying the Deceased

Besides being encouraged to constantly remember God (dhikr) and recite much tahlil along the way to the grave, other etiquettes that deserve attention include:

1. Do Not Raise Your Voice

When accompanying the body to the cemetery, mourners should not be noisy or raise their voices, whether in dhikr or in anything else. This prohibition exists because it resembles the practice of Christians.

As is known, Christians often raise their voices when chanting prayers or dhikr through songs and lamenting their grief.

To avoid resembling them, Muslims who accompany the body of a family member, relative or loved one are encouraged to recite dhikr quietly. Muslims are not encouraged to raise their voices, whether in reciting verses of the Holy Qur'an or in dhikr.

2. Stand When the Body Is Lifted

The second etiquette a Muslim should observe when accompanying the body to the cemetery is to stand when the deceased is lifted.

After the body is lifted, mourners are also advised not to sit down hastily until the body reaches its final resting place. This is a final sign of respect for the one who has left this world.

This is not merely a recommendation; there is evidence for it. The evidence that mourners should stand while the body is being carried is found in the hadith narrated by Bukhari, number 1313, and the hadith narrated by Muslim, number 959. The hadith reads: "If you see a funeral, stand up, and whoever accompanies it should not sit until the body is placed down."

3. Quicken Your Steps Toward the Grave

Besides the two points above, when accompanying the body to the grave, mourners should quicken their pace.

This is also something mourners are expected to do when accompanying the body to the grave. This etiquette is not merely a recommendation but also a saying of the Messenger of Allah SAW.

The wording of the hadith on accompanying the body goes roughly like this: "Hasten in attending to the body. If it is a righteous person, then you are offering good to them; but if it is not so, then you are removing evil from your shoulders."

What to Do When Burying the Body

Having learned the etiquettes to observe when accompanying the body to the grave, the next step is to learn the etiquettes to observe when burying the body.

Beyond contacting a funeral service provider, several etiquettes that a Muslim should give attention to when burying the body include:

A. Deepening the Grave

The first point is intended to protect the body from wild animals and foul odors that could disturb the residential area around the cemetery. The Messenger of Allah SAW also instructed deepening the grave when burying the martyrs of the Battle of Uhud. The meaning of that instruction is roughly as follows:

"Dig the grave, make it deeper, and treat the bodies well. Bury two or three people in one grave."

The Companions went further and asked, "Who should we place in front, O Messenger of Allah?"

The Messenger replied, "Place in front the one who has memorized the most of the Qur'an." Jabir then said, "And my father was the third person in one grave." (Narrated by Bukhari and others)

The matter of burying two or three bodies in one grave, as stated in the hadith, applies only in emergency situations, such as during war in the path of Allah, natural disasters that cause many casualties, and other calamities.

B. Making the Lahd

Unlike the burial pit, the lahd is a recess dug into the side of the grave. Besides the lahd, there is also the syaq, which is a trench dug right down the center of the grave.

Some scholars permit the making of a syaq, but the making of a lahd remains the more recommended option.

C. Giving Priority to the Head of the Deceased

The third etiquette in Islam for burying the deceased is to give priority to the head where possible. The head is then turned toward the qibla by laying the body on its right side, and the shroud ties are loosened.

When loosening the shroud ties, the person placing the body says, "Bismillah wa'ala millati rasulillah."

How to Accompany the Deceased

Islam provides guidance on how to accompany the deceased. Two of these are as follows:

1. Walking Ahead of the Procession

When accompanying the deceased, mourners are encouraged to walk in front of or ahead of the body, for example, so that when a mourner looks back, the body they are accompanying can still be seen.

So, even while walking ahead of the deceased the distance between the mourners and the deceased should not be too great, since accompanying the deceased by going ahead is preferable to walking behind.

This applies to those who accompany on foot as well as those who travel by vehicle.

2. Avoiding Vehicles Unless There Is a Valid Excuse

When escorting the deceased to the grave, it is recommended not to use a vehicle unless the mourner has a valid excuse. This does not apply, however, when the distance between the house of mourning and the cemetery is very far. In such cases, the recommendation to accompany the deceased on foot no longer applies.

This concludes the discussion of the virtue and etiquette of escorting the deceased to the grave in Islamic teaching. By reading this, you as a Muslim should understand what ought to be done when a relative or family member passes away. Treating the deceased with care is a good deed whose reward you will receive at the end of your life.

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